Gay people seem often to fall on a sort of continuum between completely out and completely closeted. The interesting thing about that, of course, is that “closeted” is a term rife with meaning. For instance, it doesn’t mean “not gay,” and it doesn’t mean “not acknowledged as gay,” but it does mean “not talking about it.” So, for example, it could mean that if you are the gay one, your parents know you are gay, your friends and co-workers know you are gay, but because you never talk about it, you never give them permission to talk with you about it. And that means that you never give them permission to know the real you—even though they already do know the real you. Except, of course, the real you they think they know is the one they’ve made up in their heads because you have not allowed them to talk to you about it. It is in this manner that all sorts of relationship dysfunction gets generated. And I know that there are other kinds of closetedness as well (as for example, the situation when it might be dangerous to be perceived as lgbt). And there are all sorts of points in-between as well, hence my “continuum” metaphor.
But the reality of life is that the reality of life is what is most important. So if you are in danger, keep your head down—we all understand that one. But, if you are just afraid of claiming your difference, for whatever, reason, I encourage you to put your fear aside and go for it.
God made you gay. And God made you gay for a reason. It never escapes stories in my family, for example, that of three branches of siblings and cousins, among whom I am the only known homosexual, I also am the only one with the same (first and only) husband for 34 years. Talk about prophetic witness.
We have been hearing this story about Joseph being “sold” into slavery in Egypt, where, as it turns out, he ran things for the Pharoah, and in today’s reading from Genesis he explains to his brothers (who now are broke, lost, and exiled) that it was God who sent him to that place. You see when Joseph was sent away it seemed like a difficult kind of exile, not unlike maybe that first realization that you are gay. But, decades later, it turns out that it is clear to Joseph, to God, and to everybody else, that it was God’s idea to set Joseph apart. And that, my friends, is our job in God’s kingdom, as gay people.
Now, for even more affirmation we can read the Gospel story in contemporary terms. Jesus drove away, and the farther away he got the stranger the people seemed. Suddenly he heard a voice crying out “have mercy on me.” He said, “look, lady, I was sent just to save my own,” and she said “even the dogs get to eat the crumbs under the table.” He says “good enough,” and rewards her faith.
Now don’t read this backward; I am not saying glbt people have to eat crumbs. Rather, I am saying, lgbt people need to speak up. SPEAK UP! That’s the whole story. Speak up my friends, and “healing” is instant. What is healing? In the Gospels, healing means equality, it means being one with God and Jesus and everyone else.
Gay people need to speak up. Really speak up. “Oh, how good and pleasant it is when brethren live together in unity! For there GOD has ordained the blessing, life for evermore.”
Proper 15 (Genesis 45: 1-15; Psalm 133; Romans 11: 1-2a, 29-32; Matthew 15: (10-20), 21-28)
©2011 The Rev. Dr. Richard P. Smiraglia. All rights reserved.
Dimensions of Reality: glbt Christian spirituality 