On Saturday October 20 I wrote the post that appears below. I went to bed early, as I always do on Saturday, planning to post it on my way to church early Sunday morning (I like to sleep on it, as it were). At 3am the hospital called to tell me my husband was unable to catch his breath so had been moved to intensive care. I went to be with him.
He’s recovered now; I’m en route to bring him home. But I want to post this anyway. How little did I know how God answers us out of the whirlwind:
Well, I’ve been there this week. Between chaotic people and a husband in the hospital I feel like I’m living in the whirlwind. What is GOD saying to me, out of this whirlwind? Good question. Actually, I like this GOD from Job who dares to say “who the H are you?” I think we need to think about God in that way more often. Like James and John in the Gospel, we tend to think God is “ours” and is always working for us individually, and that is why we have the temerity to pray for things for ourselves. But of course, Jesus’ rebuke is the reminder that God is the God of the universe (this is echoed, of course, in the Psalm and in Job (which is an echo of the Psalm) where we learn just how God created everything). When we pray, first we should listen, and second we should respond to what God has given us. That, is effective prayer.
My husband is sick this week, in the hospital with pneumonia. I was out of town, and he got febrile and had chills so he went in. I always feel powerless when he is ill, because I am. But also because when I was a hospital chaplain among people with AIDS they so often died of infections they got in the hospital. So I always go through the same set of prayers—fix him, make him well, and bring him home quickly. But what God is asking of us is that we should take responsibility for God’s kingdom. We, glbt people, are called by God to love with all our hearts so that the love we share for each other will lift the rest of society like a peak in whipped cream. We are to love with every ounce of our glbt being, and in so doing our love lifts the whole world.
Boy do I love Brad. I am not whole without him. Last night I went over to the hospital even though I’d been 12 hours flying home. He said “you need to rest” and I said “no, I need you.”
Enough said.
GOD answers us out of the whirlwind. Listen.
*Proper 24 (Job 38:1-7, (34-41); Psalm 104:1-9, 25, 37b Benedic, anima mea; Hebrews 5:1-10; Mark 10:35-45)
©2012 The Rev. Dr. Richard P. Smiraglia. All rights reserved
Dimensions of Reality: glbt Christian spirituality 