Isaiah 9:2 “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness– on them light has shined.”
Gay people know about this walking in darkness business. I remember as a teenager always feeling apart from my “friends.” I remember cringing at every Christmas party because my parents’ friends would inevitably ask me about having a girl-friend. I hated Christmas movies because in the end, the really cute guy always wound up with a woman. I knew that I walked in darkness, indeed (I thought) that I always would have to do so, because my happy ending would never be permitted. I knew that there was no way to reconcile my innermost truth with the world around me. I think we all have stories that fall somewhere along a continuum like this. Christmas was not happy because it only served to highlight the differences, the other-ness of gay life.
This year my husband and I celebrate our 33rd Christmas together. Our tree is lighted, presents are (mostly) wrapped, the refrigerator is stocked, and we look forward to mass together. Is it a miracle that after all of these years we go to mass, not only as life partners, but as priest and mate? Of course it is. It is the miracle of Christmas. The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light, on us this light has shined, brilliantly.
The light, of course, is the presence of God in our lives, in our family, in our work, in our home, in our neighborhood. God is always in our midst, right here in the thick of everything. Through the mercy of God the child Jesus was born for us—yes, us—you and me gay and lesbian and bisexual and transgendered us. He has brought peace, and justice, and righteousness. He has ended the darkness of our own exile with the brightness of the fullness of life.
All of us in the gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and trans-gendered community can identify with those shepherds standing on the hillside that night, long ago. The angel that appeared in their midst terrified them. The presence of God can do that, if we are not prepared. And yet, if we can get past our fear, if we can get past our own self-judging territorial walls, then we can see this great light, and we can hear the voice of the angel saying to us: “Fear not, I bring you news of great joy for all people.” The child Jesus was born to bring the very human word of God to us in a way that nobody could miss. The grown up Jesus would mount his ministry among the down-trodden, walking from place to place, proclaiming the good news: “The kingdom of God has come near.” And he would teach us that the kingdom of God was already in our midst. To see it, to touch it, to bring it into our reality means tearing down all of those walls, putting our closets behind us, freeing ourselves to love as God has called us to do. All we have to do is love God and love each other, to see this kingdom.
Is everything perfect? Of course not. We still cannot marry in most of the world. We must keep one eye out all the time for the presence of oppression or violence. Too many of us are ill or alone. Too many still dwell in the darkness of their closets. Although life for our community is better in many ways than it was when I was a boy, it still is far from perfect. Rose-colored glasses do us no good. But good old-fashioned faith can change our lives. Belief is the essence of faith, and our belief in the possibility of the fullness of life is critical. The joy of a life lived in the fullness of Jesus’ call to us to love one another can drive away the terror of the closet and shine the brilliant light of God’s love into our hearts.
The darkest exile, my friends, is the one we create for ourselves when we choose to hide who we really are. And when we finally see the light and put that exile behind us, the brilliance of God’s light can be overwhelming—terrifying even—or, it can be awesome. But as the angel says, fear not, my friends. Be who you are. That is how God wants it to be. Reach out your arms in love to your 3-year old nephew, to your Alzheimer’s ridden parent, to your constantly irritating siblings, to everyone you meet. Stretch out your arms in love and you will see this bright light that God has brought among us.
God’s grace, my friends, has appeared among us, bringing salvation to us in freedom to be who God has made us to be. The miracles of Christmas are in our hearts and souls, just waiting to spring forth and shed God’s brilliant light on the whole world. This Christmas, let the light of God’s love shine in and on, and through you.
Christmas I (The Nativity of Our Lord)(Isaiah 9:2-4,6-7; Psalm 96:1-4,11-12; Titus 2:11-14; Luke 2:1-14)
©2011 The Rev. Dr. Richard P. Smiraglia. All rights reserved.