Sinews*

This lesson from Ezekiel is the lesson about the valley of dry bones. We hear it each year at the Easter Vigil. Every time I hear this lesson, and I do mean every time, I just think of the thousands of bright young men full of life who were struck down by AIDS, and of their haunting wasted faces. The rattling of bones, the faces with no sinews, the promise that God would open their graves and breathe life into them again—well, we’ll see. But for those of us who are gay and have lived through these three decades of AIDS, we have been living in this Valley of Dry Bones. And if you think that isn’t a pretty picture you’re right. I do not apologize for the millions of my happy gay brothers who were struck by a virus that could have been easily controlled if evil forces had not been given power to prevent treatment.

But God will place us on God’s own soil…. That Gospel about Lazarus is the traditional Gospel for “National Coming Out Day”—and not just because at the end Jesus shouts “Lazarus, come out”—but rather, because it is about how the closet is a tomb, and life, the alternative, needs spiritual sustenance. Did you notice that Mary and Martha wept? But Jesus, who wept first, then invoked the Spirit. And the Spirit is life. It really is that simple.

I remember before I came out. I was dead inside, filled with fear where the life should have been; I had no possibility, no hope. Every man I met who was attractive was just a temptation, because, because I was gay, there was no hope I could have a relationship with him. But, once I was out, the world of relationship with men was wide open for me. And connections with men, with humans, with the universe, were wide open to me.  I remember in those early days, that whenever I met an attractive straight man I would try to scare him just a bit by carrying on about how gay I was. I actually still do that sometimes, because I don’t want him to think I’m just going to go sit in the closet about my sexuality. I once was told by a married straight man that it was okay (with him) for me to be a gay priest so long as I didn’t need to talk about it. My response was “every time you take your wife and son to dinner, you trumpet your virility and your sexuality.” Why shouldn’t I?

Well, some of that goes to heterosexism, which is still so rampant it makes me ill. But some of it has to do with what Paul calls setting the mind on the Spirit instead of the flesh. It is much too simplistic to accept the judgment of frauds who will tell you Paul means not to have sex; that is not the point at all. The point Paul is making is that we have to learn to know the difference between what really connects us to God, and that which just makes us bigger and stronger than everybody else.

Which brings us back to how to put sinews on those fleshy bones. Love God. Love yourself. Love one another. That’s about it.

5 Lent (Ezekiel 37:1-14; Psalm 130; Romans 8:6-11; John 11:1-45)

©The Rev. Dr. Richard P. Smiraglia. All rights reserved.